Friday, November 29, 2019

How We Kill Our Sons Long Before They Die in the Streets

Ms. Melaninian

There are many Black women praying for “a good Black man,” but they are often the same ones who kill that very goodness in their own sons. They are the ones causing irreversible damage to his psyche long before the schools and society nail his coffin shut.

Unable to watch the recent horrifying moment of a mother beating her 7-year-old son and threatening to ‘break his face’ for disrespecting his teacher, I was reminded of how I killed my own son, long before he went missing 5 years ago.

This is not discipline! This is murdering the soul of your child!

Growing up, my son loved me more than life, but I made him fear me worse than death. I screamed in his face, I beat him for making messes, I threatened him for disturbing me, and I dared him to cry when he was hurting. I broke promises to him, I denied him hugs and loving arms. Above all, I broke the trust of my divine purpose as a mother.

A past that’s haunted me 40 years, resurfaced during the national coverage of a mother beating her son in Baltimore Maryland, several years ago. She was hailed, ‘Mother of the Year’ by media encouraging society to believe our sons should be beaten into submission because they must be no good.

I was outraged by her vicious behavior as many mothers were; some because they would never humiliate their sons in public in such a degrading way, and others because, like me, have long since lived to regret having violated their precious gifts from God in such a way.

Our sons suffer a slow, cruel, yet invisible death when their mother is the first one to call him bad, the first to yell no, and stop at him. His spirit is broken when she is the one who tells him he can’t do this, shouldn’t do that, and better not think of doing anything other than what ‘Massa’ allows.

I have heard young mothers say, “he just wants me to hold him.” But knowing so, ignores him. Or, “he’s just acting like a baby” when in fact, he is a baby. I have watched as she screams at him, calls him derogatory names, and slaps him around in public. 

At home, she shuts him up when he cries and ignores his need to be held and allows others to punch him around to make him tough. She will scorn him for exploring how things work and applaud him for acting like a clown.

When he gets older, she is the first one to take sides against him when he is accused of doing wrong and takes pride in embarrassing and humiliating him to impress his accusers. There is no wonder he turns to the streets with no regard for life searching for that familiar pain of that invisible death until it finds him.
Social networks are riddled with posts of Black women crying about the “no-good” Black men who ruined their lives and broke their hearts but how many of those women ever stopped to think that we as Black mothers are the ones who raise these men.

Truth is, there is no such thing as a no-good Black man broken yes, but no one comes into this life ‘no-good’ and no one aspires to be ‘no-good.’ No-good things would have to shape his world, and the womb is where his world begins. If he receives protection and strong enough love from his mother even without his father’s presence nothing in life could break him or make him a no-good man.

As with Monique‘s viral declarations of loving the Black man, many Black women feel the same but, nothing substantial can ever be said to heal the Black man’s wounds until we first offer the sincere apology for the wrong we have done as mothers to our sons who grow into these men. Then, as a collective, we must change our behaviors towards them.

While I can’t possibly recall all the despicable things I did to my son (and his younger brother) there are a few things that haunt me constantly; my intolerable attitude towards his need for play, my neglect to hug him, teach him, and help him learn on his own with compassionate tolerance, and for beating him for making mistakes.

Those things might have been reconcilable in his development had they been occasional incidences, but they were extreme patterns that slowly destroyed his ability to develop trust, curiosity, and self-esteem. 

To guise my horrendous attitude as a mother, I dressed him up in fine clothes, taught him to address me as ma’am, and speak only when spoken to, so I could show him off in public and get praised for ‘doing a wonderful job’ with him.

Then came the irreconcilable damages. His father went to prison before he was born and remained there for almost 10 years. So, I went on a quest to find another ‘good Black man’ - searching the nightclubs where I worked and played. Month after month, I was bringing different men home introducing them to my son.

My son stood by witnessing me sink into drug addiction with man after man and a host of unsavory friends coming and going, while I shuffled his half-nourished mind and body into his room and carried on in ways he should never have seen nor heard.

I began to wake up after one of my screaming rages frightened my son so bad (at 8-years old) he wet his pants. I began to clean up my act and would later find out about horrible things that happened to him by some of these dark characters going in and out of my house while I was in and out of consciousness.

Eventually, I found a man to marry, having three more children. Turns out, my husband was tormented as a child too. He never trusted me because of the things he saw his mother do, and to a man, no woman on this planet is better than his mother!

So, if a man’s vicious mother was also a liar, cheater, or nasty man-eater, in his mind, no matter how good a woman may be, he subconsciously believes somewhere inside her exists the same terrible characteristics of his mother.

In the end, I had to escape from my husband, discover me, and ultimately become a different kind of mom raising my children with a different kind of life.

My son will be 45 next year and I have yet to apologize to him for the wrong I did while raising him. Though he went on to build a phenomenal conglomerate of businesses with other tormented men, I knew he was haunted by the past I took him through. But instead of looking him in the eyes and saying ‘I am sorry, I would lower my gaze in silent shame in those rare moments when he would come around so eventually, he stopped coming.

I tell this story, not knowing whether I’ll ever see him alive again, for other mothers making the same mistakes I made, and especially to offer a sincere apology to all the Black men who suffered at the hands of their cruel and unconscious mothers.

There is no redemption for me regardless of the changes I have made because I cannot go back and undo what I have done. But if this is heard in the way my heart is pouring it out, we as Black mothers can change how the world treats our sons from this day on, by changing how we treat them, raise them, respect them, and empower them with the everlasting effects of his first LOVE.

Right now, throughout the world, the black man is targeted for defeat because even at his worse, he is better than most when he sets his mind to it. It is our job as mothers to nourish their hearts, protect their minds, and flood them with our love to brace them for the tribulations society has stored up for them.

That is loving the Black man and we cannot declare our love for him while beating down his sons! Obviously, this is about our sons which by no means disregards our precious daughters. 

However, this should serve as enlightenment to what needs to be done for her as well, because if our sons are the target, our daughters are the bait.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

The Impact of Black Enslavement More Powerful Than Nuclear Bombs

by Kenray Sunyaru 

This year 2019 marks the 400th year since the official beginning of Black enslavement in 1619 and we still haven't recovered. We're still devastated politically, economically, culturally, socially, relationally, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

Indeed the impact of Black enslavement has been more devastating than nuclear bombs.

In 1945 the United States detonated two nuclear weapons over the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the two bombings killed between 129,000 and 226,000 people mostly civilians. It took Japan about 25 years to rebulid itself after the US nuclear bomb attack, today Japan is the 6 most competitive nation in the world. 

Today as Black folks after so-called being free for a 154 years we're at the bottom of almost every socioeconomic 'quality of life' indicators in America though we have over 1.2 trillion dollars in purchasing power.

The devastating nuclear bomb of white supremacy has 6 major self-diseasing, self-defeating, and self-destroying features:

1. Spiritualcide - Destroying our spirits with white people being superior and godlike - the worship of a white Jesus Christ; irresponsible religious fantasy-protection and a false sense of favor; denigrating and denying the expression of Traditional Afrikan Religion (TAR).

2. Mentacide - Destroying our minds with a self-hatred inferiority complex, dependency, identity disorder, invisible man syndrome, and miseducation. Mentacide contributes to *Suicide, *Homicide, and *Fratricide!!!

3. Cardiocide - Destroying our hearts (heartbroken) by being traumatized, chronic acute stress, grief, anxiety, and heart disease (heart attacks).

4. Nutricide - Destroying our bodies with poor nutrition resulting in obesity and a host of physical sicknesses (chronic diseases). 

5. Chemicalcide - Destroying us with chemical warfare 'war on drugs' - the systematic saturation of drugs and alcohol to destabilize and criminalize our communities.

6. Culturalcide - Destroying 'reducing' our cultural down to superficial praying (begging, pleading), dividing (individualism, denominationalism, gangsterism, genderism), singing, rapping, laughing, dancing, sexing, playing (sports), dressing (European designer clothing), driving (expensive cars), hair styling, eating, buying (consumerism), etc.

As Black folks in order to 'rebuild' ourselves from the reverberating post-slavery effects of the racist enslavement nuclear bomb we have to reorganize and comprehensively address the above 6 features.

Unfortunately too Many Black Folks Don't Live Purposeful Lives.

by Kenray Sunyaru

As a Black man life has shown me that unfortunately too many Black folks don't live purposeful lives. Indeed so many Black folks confuse obligations for purpose. 

Though the chattel form of slavery is over most of us today totally accept being obligated to serve whites interests: obliged to their country, obliged to their pledge of allegiance, obliged to their racism, obliged to their military, obliged to their voting system as symbolic freedom, obliged to their religion, obliged to their holidays; 

Obliged to their company's, obliged to their jobs, obliged to obtaining their titles/degrees, obliged to constantly pursuing their version of the so-called American dream, obliged biggest purchasers of their consumer products, obliged to playing their lottery games, obliged to using their dope, obliged to harming each other, obliged to live their cultural creation of us, etc. 

So eventually when all of our obligations to them come to an end are we obliged to their notion of a life after death. The inescapable question is what's our purpose'?

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Another Unarmed Black Person Killed in Their Home by White Police

White police in Texas again kill another unarmed Black person in their home, one more case of being gun down in your home while Black - let us protest, demand full justice, and save that forgiveness talk!

Too Many Black Folks Are Too Concerned With Forgiving Instead of Demanding Full Racial Justice!

by Kenray Sunyaru

From my perspective too many Black Christians are caught-up in forgiveness; they got too much 'theology', what they need to understand is some 'psychology' to address their inappropriate behavior of internalized racism.

Their inappropriate behavior of forgiving a racist convicted criminal cop Amber Guyger as if she was a victim; that white people are still 'right' deserve empathy even when their dead 'wrong'. Because of forgiveness white skin superiority is never fully wrong on earth and so shall it be in heaven. 

Do you think white people and white police in Dallas forgave the Black man Micah Johnson for killing those 5 white officers there in 2016 - NO! Being conscious of Black history I'm not shocked at the present behavior of too many Black folks forgiving Guyger the killer kop. 

As much I honor and respect Dr. Martin Luther King's bold leadership I had an issue 'differed' with his forgiving attitude toward the racist police who murdered Jimmie Lee Jackson. 

On February 26, 1965, Alabama civil rights activist Jimmie Lee Jackson died after he was brutally beaten and shot by Alabama State Trooper James Bonard Fowler during a peaceful voting rights march. Fowler was indicted and plead guilty to misdemeanor manslaughter. He was sentenced to six months in prison.

After Jackson's funeral at the cemetery King spoke about forgiveness and love; he pleaded with Black people to pray for the police; to forgive the murderer and to forgive those who were persecuting them. King ended by telling everyone to hold hands and sing “We Shall Overcome.”

Indeed King was struggling internally between the theology of forgiveness and racial justice. Many young Black civil right activists differed with King like Kwame Toure (Stokely Carmichael), Jamil Al-Amin (H. Rap Brown), and many other SNCC participants; they extolled self-defense and justice, not forgiving racist oppressors and murderers.

Black Christians will quote that vengeance is the Lord's, for me forgiving racist murdering police is for the Lord. Amber Guyger should have been sentenced to the 28 years that the prosecution wanted, but the Black jurors, the Black judge, and Botham Jean's own family did not want full justice.

Michael Drejka a white Florida man who was found guilty of manslaughter in killing of an unarmed Black man Markeis McGlockton was sentenced to 20 years in prison - Drejka didn't get a hug from the white judge.

Unlike Botham Jean's family there was no hugging and forgiving this white murderer, McGlockton's father, Michael McGlockton Sr., told Drejka that "he killed his only biological son and that because of you, our lives will never be the same. You deserve to die in prison, in the Bible it says that in order to get into heaven we must forgive those who trespass against us. At this point in my life I am not there yet. And if it just so happens that the Lord chooses to take me before I come to terms with this, then I will see you in hell, where you and I will finish this. Mark my words."

Friday, October 4, 2019

Black Mentacide: Forgiving White Racist Cop Murderer Amber Guyger

by Kenray Sunyaru

Malcolm X during a speech chided Black folks for forgiving white racist lynching terrorist, he stated Black folks will say Lord forgive them because they know not what they do, Malcolm responded by saying they are experts in what they do ‘lynching Blacks’.

Amber Guyger the racist Dallas police officer convicted of the murder of Botham Jean are experts in murdering Black men! Many Black folks like Botham’s brother and judge Tammy Kemp giving forgiveness hugs to Guyger have become experts at forgiving murderous white racists.

Botham’s father went beyond just forgiving Guyger stating he would like to become her friend. For Botham's brother and father Amber Guyger became a white murderous enchantress they became mesmerized by - they forgot about Botham's murder; they wanted to hold Guyger and know the blond assassin better; you know they wanted to 'get' with her.

A Black female bailiff stroked Guyger's hair to comfort her - what neo-slave madness; Ancestor Dr. Francis Cress Welsing point blank said: "Forgiving whites for acts of racism is a mental illness on the part of Black people." 

I can’t imagine seeing a white brother and white female judge hug a Black female cop after being convicted of murdering a white male. When Blacks murder Blacks I don’t see the victims family and Black judges hugging the Black convicted murderers and forgiving them.

Chauncey Devega states this about Black forgiveness: 

“The expectation that Black people will always and immediately forgive the violence done to them by the State, or individual white people, is a bizarre and sick American ritual. The necropolis of Black bodies in the Age of Obama provides many examples of the ritual. Less than a month after her son Samuel Dubose was executed by a thug cop, his mother, Audrey Dubose was asked during a press conference, if she forgave Ray Tensing. She answered “I can forgive him. I can forgive anybody. God forgave us." After Dylann Roof massacred nine Black Americans in a Charleston, South Carolina church their families were asked to forgive the white racist terrorist. Rituals reinforce social norms, values, and beliefs. Rituals can empower some groups and individuals; rituals can also serve to weaken and oppress others. The ritual of immediate and expected Black forgiveness for the historic and contemporary suffering visited upon the black community by White America reflects the complexities of the color line. The African-American church is also central to the Black American ritual of forgiveness. A belief in fantastical and mythological beings was used to fuel struggle and resistance in a long march of liberation and dignity against white supremacy, injustice, and degradation. The notion of “Christian forgiveness” as taught by the Black church could also be a practical means of self-medication, one designed to stave off existential malaise, and to heal oneself in the face of the quotidian struggles of life under American Apartheid. Likewise, some used Christianity and the Black church to teach passivity and weakness in the face of white terrorism because some great reward supposedly awaits those who suffer on Earth. The public mask of public black forgiveness and peace was also a tool that was used during the long Black Freedom Struggle as a means of demonstrating the honor, humanity, dignity, and civic virtue of Black Americans--a group who only wanted their just and paid for in blood (and free labor) civil rights. The ritual of immediate and expected Black forgiveness fulfills the expectations of the White Gaze and the White Racial Frame. A lack of empathy from White America towards Black America is central to the ritual: if white folks could truly feel the pain of Black people in these times of meanness, cruelty, and violence, then immediate forgiveness would not be an expectation. Many white Americans actually believe that Black people are superhuman, magical, and do not feel pain. This cannot help but to somehow factor into the public ritual of Black people saying “I forgive” the violence visited upon them by white cops, paramilitaries, hate mongers, bureaucrats, and the State."

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Manly Advice For Women to Improve Their Relationships With Men

by Kenny Anderson

Ladies, let me say this in my life as a man, 30 years as a social worker including specializing in marriage and relationship counseling, I’ve never heard too many woman admit that they contributed to a break up with a man. 

The overwhelming majority of women have said they were perfect, they were totally innocent, they were the victims of his wrong doing, that they are Ms. Right all they needed to do is find - meet Mr. Right.

As a man, ladies we’re often wrong in relationships with women, however for the sake of a bigger truth we need to begin detaching the myth of women as always being Ms. Right.

Ladies, yes you all have many positive sides but you all also have negative sides; as men we see this negative side, many ignore it, while many men just abandon the relationship because of this negativity with out closure due to a sense of futility. 

Indeed men experience the negative side of women expressed in controlling, manipulating, nagging, pettiness, selfishness, ungrateful, toxic emotions, unrealistic thinking and expectations.

Ladies as long as you all hold on to this absolute sense of yall’s perfectionism of being Ms. Right, then you all can never see or admit when you’re wrong. 

When you’re perfect you won’t engage in self-examination, self-criticism, or self-correction; women being perfect results in a double-standard: men are always wrong I’m right, he needs to change but I don’t need to change; this notion of women not needing to change is what many men resent.

        Ladies stop calling women all the time to complain about men; most will only male-bash, re-enforce, and co-sign your complaints, and tell you what you want to hear instead of objectively 'honestly' what you need to hear about your own faults and shortcomings that contribute to failed relationships. 
          Ladies, often times women don't want you to repair, improve, and have a good relationship with the man of your life. Ladies want to know about men then call a man               phone Hey Mr. Ken!                

Call Hey Mr. Ken:
Ext: 05588