Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Black Men: Some Thoughts on Black Distracted Love

 by Kenny Anderson

It is no secret that for decades now Black male/female relationships have been troubling and failing. From my perspective much of this trouble and failure is primarily due to unidentified and unaddressed negative undermining mental-emotional issues.
Instead of making a serious commitment to address these internal negative mental-emotional issues first way too many Black men and women get involved in relationships as a 'distraction' to escape necessary self-correction and self-improvement.
Too often in distraction relationship Black men and women don't ask themselves the following questions:
*Am I in this relationship because I'm afraid of being alone?
*Am I in this relationship because selfishly I want to be with someone at all costs?
*Am I in this relationship so I can be the focus of 'attention'.
*Am I in this relationship because there's a void in my life or something in me I'm avoiding to deal with?
*Am I bringing negative emotional energy baggage into the relationship?
*Am I seeking a relationship for someone else to make me happy?
Indeed, these self-questions are unhealthy reasons to be in a relationship and will surely cause problems!
The more you need to avoid dealing with your own inner problems the more you need to be distracted 'focus on the other person' and this will lead to relationship problems: Your partner may become possessive constantly wanting 'expecting' to see you; calling or texting you all the time; demanding your attention, response, and time.
If you can't 'deliver' meet their attention requirements this will become stressful; and this will lead to them being suspicious, disappointed, and dissatisfied; ending the relationship on to the next diversion person.
From my perspective love begins with 'self-love' that comes as a result of self-knowledge and self-healing, without this prerequisite mental-emotional awareness and curing process then looking for love 'being in a relationship' with someone else is too often driven by distraction.

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